My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We left the knife in your bed.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
