A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
