i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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