I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
