I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
