I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
