what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
wow bdsm is so cute
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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