the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
