Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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