New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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