Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
