i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
