This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
