Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
