I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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