there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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