He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
