I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Boobs are out for the taking
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
