all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
