i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
