Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
