He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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