talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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