Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
