Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why is there bacon in the couch?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
