I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
