In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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