is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
