Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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