sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
no you cant smoke seaweed
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
