so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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