just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
