I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
