i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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