Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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