i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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