Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
