what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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