So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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