it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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