So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
