But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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