I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
