at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize