You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
