There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
