Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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