Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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