forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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