she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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