we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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