Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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