You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize