When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
